Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Watched "The Haunted Apartment" this afternoon. It was your usual freaky-scary-gross horror movie. Well, at least this time, it had an ending i liked. No, im not gonna say what happened, you wanna know, go watch it yourself.

On the way back from college, i ter-mati-ed engine at the traffic light, and the guy at the back was honing like crazy. I mean, come on la dude, give me a break! *shakes fist*.. and to think he was a "P" driver, probably from college as well. And here i was thinking that all "P" drivers are nice, compassionate and kind hearted, compared to the other "more matured" drivers. Looks like i was wrong. Hey, please la, im as noob as you are la dude. Quit trying to act big...*puffs*.. Well, i just ignored him and took my own sweet time to start the engine and drive off. Wee...people like these should be ignored. Period.

Funny how M'sian drivers cant help but hon everytime they get ticked of by something stupid. For example, drivers who has a "P" sign accidently mati-ed engine in front of them. The government should do something about this. They should pass a law that everytime you hon for no reason, you'll get saman-ed. Yeah, pity those who are "weak at heart"..i mean those who are scared of driving, one hon and it'll scar them for life, they may never want to drive again..then these people will get hurt so badly that they'll work on baning all driving as a revenge to the person who honed them years ago..Yeah, im crapping again..but hey, it just might happen right, no harm in taking percaution.

So to all those dumb and Annoying drivers who hon for no reason, just becareful, you dont want that to happen.

Sorry, im just bored..and annoyed..
And i just remembered that those fellas were guys..MALES!!! Guys are terrible drivers i tell you, why? i dont know, they just think they're the boss when it comes to driving, actually not only driving. They think they can be boss over everything. GARRR..Sorry la, it wont happen when Shu Ern is around, humph..selfish arrogant species..muahahahaha..

Shu ern has just gone crazy, please pardon her..

Another week and its 2007. Looking back on this year, what have i really done that i can be proud of? *thinks*....mmm..well, erm, i joined MA. You go girl! Thats really an
accomplishment..Yeah, so i can be proud of myself..NOT, sigh..it was only one thing, and i know i screwed up pretty much when i was in it, but nevermind, there's always next year and the next right, sigh..There were stuff i regretted doing and stuff i thought was worth it. So i am really hoping that Next year i can look back and smile..unlike this year..bleh..its really hard to do stuff that i can actually be proud of..

Hmm, am still thinking of the foot stuff i bought as a present, now i feel a little weird, mum was laughing when she heard that. Alright, i admit im not good with choosing presents, especially for people like you. But what else is there to get? Shows how much i dont know you right? Yeah, i know.. Dont worry, am working on it. Just gimme awhile more aite? And ill be better, i promise. Wee...still cant believe i actually bought that for you..what was thinking..*mutters*..

till then

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas is over, next up will be watchnight celebration. This time they've changed it to 10.30pm. Funny, cuz it use to start at 8pm few years ago. Hmm, and i still can remember pastor daniel dancing to the song "singing in the rain". That was just so cool. Haha, with the umbrellas and all. Now they're shortening the service, dunno because of what. Well i admit that its kindda troublesome thinking of all those programs, but still, that's the fun of the watchnight celebration wert right.

Daniel said my blog was weird. Probably he's right, after looking at all the nonsense ive written here. Oh well, its my blog, so dun like it dun read! GARR..hehe..no, im just joking. See, thats the reason why i dont on the comment thingy, and leave a chatbox at the side. Guess everyone i know will probably be kutuking me and saying how dumb my posts are. Hehe, knowing some of them. ^^

Watched " The Curse Of The Golden Flower" yesterday night with my family. Gosh, that reminds me not to watch movies with dad. Whenever he's around, ill feel really weird, especially watching these kind of shows with him. Mum's not so bad, at least she's quiet through out the movie. Dad will be asking questions, till he gets shushed by the front or back people. Hmm, the movie was..hmm..i wont say its good, its just that, y'know Zhang Yimou films, they're all just the same. Tragic love story, son wants to overpower the dad, mum hates the dad, wants to kill him, then everyone just dies for no reason. Well, alright, the movie was good, the cinematography i meant..the story was just bullshit. Nice costume, i read that it weighs a ton, 40kg to be exact. Good actors and actress. Yeah, its just the crappy story. Oh well, nevermind, its better than "The Banquet" actually.

Nevermind..weee..can watch another movie tomorow..

till then..

^^

Friday, December 22, 2006

Coneheads anyone?

Id rather post this here if i needed to post it anywhere at all
This is what happen when we are bored and theres a camera at hand..
But i dont mind cuz then the next time i can look back and remember how hard i was laughing when that picture was taken..
we should do this more often , shouldnt we?


All we need is fake elf ears to complete the look..^^


On second thought, whoose smart idea was it?
Oh well..

And the classroom thing, haha..poor guard..to witness such an unplesant incident..haha
Then again, i dont feel sorry at all..weeeee..

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Her

Something's wrong with her,
she's feeling a little lost,
with things running through her mind.
They never stop
the feeling is always there.

No matter what he says
she never believes
thinking theres someone better
always waiting for him
but he denies it

He did nothing
letting it be
till she felt lonely and scared
longing and yearning
aching and pining for him

In the end she's fading away
no matter how much she tries to salvage it
he still doesnt know
his mind is on other things
he's not consentrating on her

She is dying
he doesnt care
all he cares is about himself
selfish prick
theres nothing she can do

With her last breath
she cries out
her heart torn apart
her blood spills
staining the ground dark red

Finally he notices
but its too late
she's gone
he regrets it deeply
so sorry

He cried his heart out
nevertheless
its too late
the memory will always haunt him
because he used her and ignored her

And because he felt so guilty
he went away
never to be seen again
left everything he ever knew
longing, yearning, aching, pining

phew, feeling so emo now..haha now back to my assignment..garr

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Brother just came back from camp, and am i sad that i wasnt able to attend. And so he was telling me n mum all the things that happened there, and i was just in awe at what God did there. The speaker was a missionary in China. phew, and he hasnt been preaching in english for a very long time, according to my brother, he spoke really well, and everyone was challenged. Boy, i really wished i went, but too bad i couldnt skip classes. oh well. The speaker also mentioned some stuff about the end times, that our generation will be the last. When i heard that, i felt a little scared and worried about what is to come. This wasnt the first time people has prophesied over my generation, and i dont think this will be the last. See, everytime some one speaks about the end times and that it'll be during my time, i always think that, that cant happen so soon, cuz i havent done enough.

Argh, shu ern, hurry up, get out there and start working on those around you!! im sure u dun wanna see them die right!

Yeah, God i really need your strength in this, i cant do this on my own.

Yes, just knocked the pavement when coming out of my parking today, rats, well, good thing my saga didnt dent in. But then, dad saw something and i got a lecture on looking after my car. But hey, practice makes perfect right, yeah, but that doesnt mean i can go round knocking everything i see or dont see.^^

Had a really big fat lunch today, was so full. Anyone going for fish and chips do head over to Fish & Co. at 1u. The price is reasonable, the portion is large, theres desert and an appetizer. Oh, by the way, its a setlunch. And the best part is, the fish is 100% original. ^^ Y'know, the fish at other places are usually small and "pirated"..i mean, they mix the fish with something else, and its super small. Well, this one is real, cuz im seeing real fish meat when im eating it. Alright, im not good at explaining this. Nevermind.

Now for something more serious.

Have you ever felt sometimes that what you are doing feels so fake? yeah, im feeling that now. i was just taking time to reflect on everything and i feel that i really have been faking a lot of things. i have been doing things i never do, saying things i never say. Its not that im doing this on purpose. I feel like, when im out in the world, im another person. Somebody im not usually. When i get back, ill be tired, empty, and emotionless. I dont know whats going on with me, ive been like that for some time.

Theres some things i badly wanna do, like live a Godly life. But its just so hard. Im suppose to be living in the world but not of the world. Instead im just like any non-christian. And sometimes, i know i cant manage it on my own, but then i still refuse to seek His help. Dumb, yeah, and stupid and foolish. i really cant go on like that, ill end up suffocating to death. Yet, God is so merciful and forgiving. He knows what im struggling with, and He provides help for me, in every way possible.

Next year, will be really challenging for me, i will be taking up more resposibilities and ill probably stress more. haha. yeah, more work for me and more activities coming my way. Great. oh well, mum always tells me how serving the Lord will mold my character and turn me into a better person. Guess thats really true. And im waiting for the breakthroughs ive been expecting. Hoping that it'll come to pass next year.

Sometimes, i just wish i could just drop everything and dont care. For being a follower of Him is just so tough. Im not allowed to do this, or i cant do that, cant have this or cant have that. Why cant i just be normal? Live life like i want to. Sometimes i even find myself questioning God. Why? Because we're all part of His wonderful plan. Im just not seing the big picture. I need to open my spiritual eyes and see past all these. See past all the bad stuff.

Father, i dont know whats going on, why are things happening like this? I need Your guidance. Show me the way Lord, that i may make a difference, for that is my heart's desire. Sorry for all the doubts i had in You, but i sometimes feel so lonely, that i feel like im useless. Lord, my spirit cries out to You. I dont want to die with work unfinished Lord. But my heart is just filled with so much questions, I dont know what will come next. I only know that Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. So move Lord, that i may see Your wondrous works. Give me faith Lord, that i will doubt anymore. I will work and strive towards accomplishing Your will. Help me be like You Lord. In Jesus's name i pray, Amen.


Sunday, December 17, 2006

A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi.
The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was
getting impatient.
The following is their conversation on the way to the airport.
A Toyota Camry overtook the taxi.....zoom....
Jap: Look ...look ...Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... made in Japan!
Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia.
Driver: yah....
After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.
Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan!
Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia
Driver: yah....yah...
After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom !
Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....made in Japan!
Proton...no good...made in Malaysia
Driver: yah...yah...yah....!
Arriving at the airport. Jap going to pay the taxi driver.
Jap: How much?
Driver: RM150/-
Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge!
Driver: Noooo .... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....very fast!.... Made in Japan!


What can i say, malaysian cars..^^

Saturday, December 16, 2006

teach me wrong from right..
ill show you what i can be..

guess im really losing it
show me


its my turn now
dunno whats wrong with me
shouldnt have been there in the first place
dont think sorry is the word

i just dont know
feeling very numb now
what about the so called next 7-8 years?
how am i gonna survive that
things really look hazzy now
im not even sure of myself
im stuck and im not going anywhere
need help
badly

yikes

what have i gotten myself into


sorry mum
i didnt mean them
i wasnt myself

i just dunno...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

First misadventure with my trusty saga

hmm, feeling a bit funny now..thanks to this afternoon's escapade..bleh..mouth still tastes weird..

Anyway, this morning i woke up late and was in a rush to get to college, but before that i had to get my management report to the nearby stationery shop to bind it. well, i hurriedly parked my car, and then got my stuff done and wanted to go straight to college when i noticed that the car in the next parking lot was parked really near my car. my mind was on getting to college asap so i just reversed, when i heard a screeching sound. i turned and to my horror, my car side mirror scratched the other car's door.immediately i heard someone shouting at the back, the owner of that car, it was a renault by the way, was yelling at me to turn the steering wheel to the right..

I was scared shitless that moment, and i couldnt do anything else except to whimper and look flustered..yeah, i was really scared..anyway, i managed to reverse completely out without doing futher damage to the fella's car, and yeah, i got out, and he came over looking really pissed, course, who wouldnt be..well, i apologized like crazy hoping that would cool him down, unfortunately it didnt. And then i remember him saying, "so are u gonna just go like this?"..i was so scared i didnt know how to answer him, then i noticed a whole long line at the back of my car waiting to pass through..

urgh..dad's singing in the bath again..bleh

Back to where i was, so the fella went back to take a look at his "damaged" car, and i just thought to myself.."alright shu ern, here's a good chance to scram"..and i hurriedly accelerated and got the hell outta there..yeah, i know..coward..but then i was super scared..what was i suppose to do..after getting out of that lane, i didnt even look back, i just went straight to college..phew..

Yeah, i shouldnt have done that, but when fear is gripping your mind, you wont even think of anything else, you'll just find a way to get out of the situation..Now as i think back, i feel really bad for that fella, i know u should have probably stopped some where and go back and settle it with him, probably pay him back for the damage or something. Ahh..too bad i guess..i was super scared at that time..and my mind wasnt functioning properly..

But then , when i look back at the side mirror of my car, some of the black paint from there was only gone..so i think i didnt really nicked his car that badly, worst also, the paint from the side mirror just probably got stuck there..shouldnt be too bad la..right?

Hmm, i really hope so..wow..yeah, i know im not good at parking and getting out of the parking lot..hey..im still learning right..and i guess it'll take a few more of these tiny "misadventures" for me to be a "geng" driver huh..^^

oh well, so be it then..
hopefully he doesnt come looking for me..then ill really die la..hee

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

stupid assignments!!
i am so so so so sick and fed up of you!!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

yes, this is another one of my "complains" again, why? because almost everyone i know are having their holidays except me! thats really something to whine about right? my whole family is enjoying their holidays now..grr..except me..why?! its so unfair.

what am i busying myself with now..still currently stressing over my latest presentation, deadline's tomorrow, bleh.come on, i feel pretty lifeless myself, is college just all about assignments, presentations, boring lectures and dressing up in formal wear? i think not..its just that my college so happens to be that way..lucky me..

parents finally allowed me to drive on my own, so no more backseat-driving. guess thats the only thing i look forward to everyday. sad right. exactly. well, driving is kindda fun, why? cuz i drive a 1.5 saga, and its powerful, well, not that powerful, but enough for a simple girl like me. best part is, i get to speed when im on my own. so i wont get aprehended by my parents for "going too fast". what? its just 100 plus only, plus its hard to cut in and out of the lanes if i dont go fast enough.yeah right, another stupid excuse, doesnt work on my parents. i mean its not like they dont speed themselves. whoa, should see my mum drive, she's mad. seriously, my friends who has sat in her car all can testify, and her reason was because she was in a rush and all housewifes drive very fast. maybe im becoming like mum, so getting a little practice now. hmm, wondering when will i get my first "accident". yeah well, better not look forward to that. but then, im curious. (no, im not repeating what u said david)

well, having a car on my own is also quite good in a way. i get to go anywhere i like on my own, so no more "mum, can u please fetch me to ......?" now its like, "mum, im going out now...." just like that. so much freedom. phew, i really gotta get used to this. and with the car at my disposal, i can get out of the house as many times as i want to. yay. fortunately for me, my parents havent set a curfew for me just yet, better use the freedom i have now as much as possible, incase they decide to set one for me.

didnt think my year end would actually end up like that, ive always thought i would be holidaying my head off, like i always use to for the past 11 years of school. well, things have all changed now. it would still be going back to classes and lectures, what a way to end the year.

glad ive made up my mind to serve in MA last year, it has done me loads of good. i get to bully kids .i get to have fun with the kids, and in the process of being their leader, i learn stuff too.

next year, there'll be new challenges for us, the few core leaders wont be around anymore, and we, the next batch of leaders, us..will have to "rise up to the occasion" thats what they keep telling us.ahh well, at least theres still help from up there. i know my God wont leave me there to die on my own.Thank You God..sob sob, now im gonna get emo dy..better not start..

hmm, think should be enough la, have to continue on my slides, nanti kena marah..^^

till then.

Monday, December 11, 2006

that was my first pair..and it broke not too long ago after i bought it..probably just a few months after i wore it, the toe strap patah dy..and it was while walking in 1u..

now, this second pair..also patah when i was walking in 1u..why?! and caryn still has her old pair..argh!! it was such a nice pair of slippers..

i mean whats it with me breaking my slippers in 1u?!!

well, thats it..got another pair..and this time its a different pair..and hopefully it will serve me longer than the other two..bah..vincci shoes are not to be trusted..

Sunday, December 10, 2006

ill stay no matter what

cuz i dont know what else to do

there may not be fights and disagreements

but why has it become like this?

cant we go back to being close like last time?

maybe its so much easier if you didnt ask

what ever may happen

i wont give up that easily

i know it will be alright in the end

we built this up

i wont let this end so fast

not until ive given my all

stronger you may say

actually we're both the same

nevermind

we'll work something out

we promised

remember?

half of me says to dump everything i know

the other half fights for whats left of us

hurting

with no one else to turn to

except to the one up there

my mind is in a turmoil now

i need reassurance

that it'll be okay

will it?

i hope so

otherwise

i dont know how to continue

with this thing nagging at me

we have better get over with this

and continue

we just have to....

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Boohoo everyone is leaving us alone..sobs..nevermind, ive got you and you've got me..two brains are better than one right?and better than none..haha

cheers

"The only lifelong, reliable motivations are those that come from within, and one of the strongest of those is the joy and pride that grow from knowing that you've just done something as well as you can do it"

-Lloyd Dobyns and Clare Crawford-Mason,Thinking About Quality-

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

just love him, dont you..

everybody's got their problems
everybody says the same thing to you
its just the matter how you solve them
and knowing how it change the things you've been through

i feel ive come to realize
how fast life can be compromise
step back to see what's going on
i cant believe this happened to you

its just a problem that i face with them
im not the only person who hates to stand by
complications are the first in this line
with all these pictures slide through my mind
knowing endless consequences
i feel so useless in this
get back
stand back
and as for me
i cant believe

part of me
wont agree
cuz i dont know is this for sure
suddently, suddently
i dont feel so insecure
anymore

everybody's got their problems
everybody says the same thing to you
its just the matter how you solve them
what else are we suppose to do

Monday, December 04, 2006

the cousins are back again. help. they'll be here every end of the year. the whole bunch of them. i cant begin to express my dislike at their arrival. why? because

no1 they'll mess up my room
no2 they eat up all my food
no3 they disturb my sleep
no4 they practically destroy everything in their way (mini godzillas)

and mind you, theres three of them. good thing all the other cousins arent like them. otherwise i will seriously dread going back for Chinese New Year every year. So they'll be staying for around a week. Thats actually a lot of people in one little house. they're sleeping with me, the two girls. yikes.

mummy says i have to be patient. bleh. cant remember the last time they didnt mess up my stuff.
yes, this is one of the many complains i have again.
guess ill have to bear with them for one week again.
maybe next time i should go live some where else when they come.

Help meeee!!!!