The Blonde Guy
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears
strange noises coming from the bedroom. He
rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,
sweating and panting.
"What's the matter?" he says. "I'm having a heart
attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just
as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and
says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your
closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms
upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming
wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure
enough, there is his brother, totally naked,
cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten scum," says the husband, "my wife's
having a heart attack and you're running around
naked scaring the kids."
Another Blonde Joke
11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly
swinging rope suspended from a crumbling
outcropping on Mount Everest.
10 were blondes, one was a brunette. As a group
they decided that one of the party must let go. If
that didn't happen the rope would break and
everyone would perish.
For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech
saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives
of the others.
The blondes applauded.
Trees Everywhere
A car was driving down the street when all of a
sudden it started swerving. The car was going
back and forth till someone with a cell phone
called the police. A police officer pulled the car
over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "
Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in
the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve
to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her,
then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
A government study has shown that blondes do
have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat
field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the
field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You
know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad
name!"
To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I
knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to
the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to
buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his
arms."
A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and
asked another blonde,
"How do you do that?" She responded . . .
"Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!"
